THE POWER OF ACCEPTANCE

Today, a young man who has been like a son to me died of Leukemia.  He was 40 years old.   Until last Friday, I was in denial that he was actually dying.  I told myself (as opposed to listening to myself) that he would beat it like he did the prior two times.  I became depressed.  It was hard to fully function, to do the little daily things that needed to be done.  I was fine when I was with clients, but when alone I felt disconnected and disinterested.  I went to my therapist.  And, yes, I find it extremely helpful to have an objective ‘watcher’ who knows me well and can help me see my truth.  She helped me recognize that I was not accepting the reality that this person that I love so deeply was dying.  When I was able to accept the truth, the depression lifted immediately as the sadness came.  I have continued to be sad, sitting with and experiencing my loss and all of the losses I have had.  But I am re-engaged with life, I am more deeply aware of the sweetness of life, I treasure my friends and family, and I am grateful for the awareness that acceptance affords me.

Many confuse acceptance with approval.  Acceptance is just acknowledging the way things are and adjusting one’s self to the reality of the present moment.  I find that the serenity prayer helps in that when I can accept the things that I cannot change, I then have sufficient energy and courage to change the things that I can, usually my actions, reactions and attitudes.